For most of my life, I’ve been obsessed with fresh starts. The idea of a clean slate has always held an irresistible allure. If something doesn’t turn out perfect, my brain’s instinct is to scrap it all and start over, because surely, the next time will be flawless, right?
I've finally discovered that this pattern isn’t just a quirk; it’s deeply tied to my neurodivergent diagnosis. My ADHD-wired brain thrives on novelty, instant gratification, and the dopamine hit that comes from being at the exciting beginning of something. Meanwhile, my perfectionism tells me that if things aren’t just right, they’re wrong—and the only solution is a total do-over.
But here’s the problem: fresh starts are often illusions. Sure, they feel good in the moment, and I am deeply comforted by them, but they can also become an avoidance tactic. Instead of pushing through the messy, imperfect middle—the part where real growth happens—I convince myself that starting from scratch is the answer.
It’s a way to feel like I’m in control, even when I’m actually just spinning my wheels.
So, I’m trying to rewire my thinking. Instead of chasing the perfect restart, I’m learning to embrace the imperfect path forward.
I’ve even added a new mantra to my growing collection:
“A messy, imperfect path forward is better than a perfect restart that goes nowhere.”
The truth is that pivots are more powerful than resets. Progress happens when we stick with something, refine it, and allow it to evolve—rather than constantly wiping the slate clean.
The real magic isn’t in the starting over; it’s in the sticking with it.
So here’s to embracing the mess, resisting the illusion of perfection, and moving forward—one imperfect step at a time.
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