Embracing the Contradictions: My Journey with Neurodivergence

 

When I first started seeking medical help, I was nervous to discover why some days I wanted to create an entire media empire, and the next day I used all my energy to make the kids' lunches. 

There was some relief to learn it came from the chaotic order that was my neurodivergent brain. 

Being on the spectrum meant I needed a routine, a schedule, and organization. But my ADHD meant my brain craved the dopamine that came from new projects, challenges, and experiences. 

My autism meant I often felt awkward and weird around people. My ADHD meant I kept wanting to share new things and often took over a conversation. 

I've always felt like a whirlwind of contradictions. 

My messy office stresses me out, but I just often get distracted from cleaning it because suddenly a new idea just soared into my head that needs to be executed. 

I want to go out and see people, but going out and seeing people is terrifying. 

It was yet another way where I thought I was broken. Now, I know I'm not. The fun part is figuring out how to manage it all going forward. At least that means, this new adventure will give me a new dopamine rush!