I'm a Better Dad Than Him. . .

 

Not Kurt Russell. But the character he plays in Guardians of the Galaxy, Ego the Living Planet. I've never killed my kids' mother or eaten my children. Not a huge bar, but I still take some solace that with all my flaws I beat him out for Father of the Year every time. 

Happy Father's Day to all those who are better than Ego at this parenting thing.