Dodging the 'What If?'

 

As I sit in front of this computer with the knowledge that my career is struggling, my site isn't growing, my novel is a foggy dream, and my podcast is stuck in hiatus, I wrestle with the great 'What If?'

In 2015, I had high hopes I'd be able to shift away from copywriting and make the majority of my living as a pop culture writer and movie critic. My audience was growing enough on the site and podcast that I have legitimate plans to shift them into my main career. I also had a can't-miss novel I was working on and countless ideas for pop culture books. The sky was the limit for my career.

Then I allowed a few defeats to ground me down and I was hit with some major depression and anxiety. I haven't made some of the best choices while I was overcome with fear and crippling self-doubt.

Where would I be today if I was able to swiftly overcome those challenges and keep crafting the best possible articles and creations for publications and this site? I did keep up the podcast for many years, and while it never has grown to where I am making any significant money, it has had a few breakthrough moments. But it could have even been more successful if I devoted more time promoting it and had a thriving site and pop culture career to back it up.

What if?

Unless I find a Delorean and a crazy professor whose first name may be Doc, I can't do anything with 'What if?;. It is done. I am here now.

What I can do is look at the past and steer away from repeating it. I can throw my heart back into making this site work, creating entertaining podcasts, and crafting the best work for my current clients. Yes, they are copywriting and ad clients rather than pop culture, but it's paid work that allows writing to be my career. The more consistent work I get then the more freedom I have to grow this site and pursue other creative endeavours.

I also need to learn the lessons for self-doubt and fear. While I find this summer as my rebuilding time, if I continue to produce great work then I really need to look into increasing my rates. I also need to be much better at promoting myself as a freelance writer by either using this site or creating an affiliate site that shows what I can offer and advertises my skills and services.

Who knows what could have been, I can't change that, and would rather dwell on all the wins, positives, and treasures of my past. I do have the power to do my best to shape my future and what this site can be.