Revisiting the Site: TV Ads You Would Not See Today

(CS: I was actually asked to stop doing reposts. I get it, because if you have been with the site for over a decade then these type of pieces may feel like cop-outs. I can't write full pieces every day, and I think throwing in a few modern thoughts on something I wrote many years ago is kind of fun. But I do hope to do far less reposts once I get some work things sorted out in the next few days. Besides, I posted a brand new movie review yesterday! So, it isn't all reposts.)

I had a totally different post planned for today, (CS: Hey! Me too!) but the hours creeped past me, which caused the planned post to be irrelevant. Instead, I thought we'd have some fun looking at television commercials that would never be allowed on the air today. Because banned television commercials are always relevant. (CS: This was originally posted March 29th, 2010.)

 1. Winston Cigarettes 

First of all, you are not allowed to even have television cigarette ads anymore. (CS: I don't think you can have cigarette ads in any form in Ontario.)  But could you imagine the uproar if a cigarette company tried using Dora the Explorer to shill their cancer sticks? Though at the same time, this was a prime time cartoon, like the Simpsons, but I know for sure it was mainly watched by families and kids. This has to be one of the most blatant marketing of cigarettes to children ever. I am sort of shocked it was even allowed then, but it was a different culture and a different time with a much more innocent view of cigarettes by the general public (the cigarette companies were still blood suckers that knew better).   (CS: This was actually a question on Jeopardy, and my wife got it right, which shows that sometimes she does listen to my pop culture rantings.)

    

 2. Jell-O 

Speaking of a different time with a different mindset, blatant racism was once a great source for humour and comedy. If something like this was aired by a major company today, there would be some massive human right lawsuits on their hands. But boy oh boy, I would love to try some of that glape flavour. (CS: Poor Jell-O, they also have a former spoke person who you wouldn't see on TV today either.)

     

3. Mattel Tommy Burst This is why I chuckle at people who pine for the old days when TV and media didn't market violence to kids. This toy would last about 10 seconds on the store shelves before parent groups would violently jump all over it and forced the toys to be pulled. Besides, no store would ever sell a toy at that price today. (CS: All gun toys today need to look as unrealistic as possible. And contain either water or sponges.)

   

 4. Folger's Coffee Yeah, I could totally see this exact scenario happening in my house. The only difference being that when Emily goes to see her friend, she is asking help to bury my body. (CS: Now that we just have kids, I might just get crippled to the point where I can still make lunches.)

     

 5. McDonald's There is the issue that McDonald's has now promised to no longer market their product directly to kids on television (obviously, the kid's meals are still the most effective way to get kids to constantly beg for McDonald's). This isn't the main reason I would bet you'd never see this commercial aired on TV today. The fact Ronald McDonald is scarier than Leatherface, Dracula, Michael Myers and Cujo combined, would be the best reason. Giving kids weeks of nightmares isn't the best way to sell your family friendly product. Of course, you got to love how essentially it promotes kids to talk to strangers as long he is dressed as a scary clown and gives you shoddily made hamburgers. (CS: Giving nightmares to children was just an expected thing on TV in the 1970s and 1980s.)