A Completely Random and Odd Conversation Between Strangers in a Waiting Room

"Hey! It is packed in here. Have you been waiting long?"

"Nope."

"Hopefully, it isn't too long. Right?"

"It is fine. This is why I brought a book."

"Yeah. Waiting rooms are like the only time we ever read."

"I like to read books in my free time too."

"Yeah. Yeah. Reading is a great hobby. I read whenever I can too.

.............

What are you reading?"

"The Passage by Justin Cronin."

"Oh, So, you enjoy Christian fiction?"

"It is a horror novel about vampires."

"I know. I was just wondering if you read Christian fiction too."

"I am sorry. I really would just like to read my novel before I get called in. I hope you understand."

"Not into friendly dialogue with strangers, eh?"

"No. I don't mean to offend. I just came here with the hope to get a chapter in while I waited.'

"Well, it is way better than being glued to your phone,"

"Yep."

"Facebook and Twitter are useless. Just for the morons, right?"

"Okay."

"What do you do for work?"

"I am the social media manager for a few large companies."

"Yep. You got to love social media. It is vital to us all."

"Again, I apologize. But I really just want to read this book. I hope you understand."

"I get it. Only so much time in the day to get to the books."

"Yep."

". . . . . . .. . 

. . . . . . . . . . 

I wrote a book, and got it published."

"Cool."

"Yep. A future bestseller. Knock on wood."

"Cool."

"Well, it isn't like a traditional book. I wrote it on a napkin with a pink crayon."

"I thought that you said it got published?"

"Well, you see, I wrote it on several napkins. There was this big-name head at a publishing company in New York that was eating at the same restaurant as me, and I gave it to her."

"And she published your pink crayon napkin writings?"

"They aren't so much writings, but drawings. But these drawings tell a deep story. A story about a robot that I am building."

"And the head of this publishing company turned it into a book? They published your napkin drawings?"

"Well. You see, I put the napkin with my drawings on her table, and she then look at them, then kissed them, and put them in her purse. She was in love with them. Future bestseller."

"Could she have possibly been using them to wipe her mouth, and then taken the rest with the idea to use them for more traditional napkin purposes rather than publish your drawings that she likely did not actually notice?"

"That would be a really odd thing to do with a bestselling book."

"Napkins with pink crayon drawings aren't typically considered books."

"A book can really be anything if you truly think about it."

"Books are mostly books."

"Ha. Next thing you are going to say is a glass of water is a glass water or a cat can't ever be a dog."

"Yep. Those exactly were the next things that I was going to say."

"So, you are close minded and hate people?"

"I mostly just want to read my book."

"You want to read your book, but you're too fascinated by the plans to my robot. It is a world changer. He can do things that you never believed possible."

"Wait. Did you actually build this robot?"

"No. But what he can do will rock your mind. You will never see the world the same again."

"So, the things this robot can do are entirely contained to drawings on a napkin rather than something you actually built or have proven can actually be done?"

"Well, he can do more than just what I drew on the napkin. I mostly just drew kittens, because I'm very good at drawing kittens."

"Your drawings of your plans for the world-changing robot was mostly kittens?"

"Yeah. Kittens are adorable."

"So, it isn't a published novel. Nor is it actually plans for building a robot? It is just pink crayon kitten drawings?"

"I drew a parrot too, but he looks more like a mushroom with shredded cheese sticking out of it."

"So, why did you call it a book or plans to build a robot?"

"I got you hooked. Your book isn't so important now. The power of my robot has been proven again."

"But your unpublished napkin has nothing to do with a robot."

"Well, it was supposed to be thorough plans for building the robot mixed with a mythic coming-of-age tale written in poetic form."

"So, why isn't it?"

"Well, I don't know how to write poetry. And it turns out that my mythic coming-of-age tale was stolen by George Lucas in 1977. So, I decided to focus on just the robot plans, but felt it would be more compelling in illustration form. But it appears I can't draw robots, but I am great at kittens. So, I did that instead, but the heart and soul of my goals are embodied in that book."

"You mean napkin."

"Napkin. Book. Who is to say what is the difference?"

"Mostly anyone who has seen a book. Question, when were you born?"

"1983. Why?"

"So, how did Star Wars rip-off your story idea?"

"Well, I was watching it one day, and I realized that is totally the story that I would have written, but George Lucas stole it from me."

"Just a question. Does your world-changing robot happen to be golden and is fluent in over six million forms of communication?"

"Hey, you read my plans!"

"How could I read your plans when they're just drawings of kittens and cheese stuffed mushroom that also are either in some executive's purse or in a New York trash bin."

"It could be New Jersey, too."

"Huh?"

"She works in New York, but has a home in Ridgewood, New Jersey. She could have put it in a trash bin there."

"How do you know she lives in New Jersey?"

"Well, Google."

"Oh. Good."

"And I followed her home. I also know she has three kids, a dog, a pool in her backyard, and purple frilly underwear."

"Oh dear."

"Don't worry, I wasn't looking up her skirt or anything. I know that because I went through her dresser."

"Oh shoot. My appointment isn't today. What was I thinking. I need to go home."

"Cool, Can I come?"

"I meant. I need to go somewhere. Not here. Nowhere near my home. Bye."