Ridiculous Reheat: An Exclusive Interview with the Office Scanner

(CS: Blargh! The work that was slowing me down from writing new stuff last week has crashed into this week. There is going to be a delay in mu churning out the fresh and exciting and detailed stuff this week. But I still have time to reposts some really old stuff that probably many of my newer readers have been fortunate to totally avoid. But not anymore, because well, here it it. A piece I wrote because I was spending a lot of time at the office and going kind of crazy.)

I've been mentioning the scanner, I use at the office, quite frequently in my recent blog posts.  My time with it has been my excuse for some rather short and inconsequential posts. (CS: Something never change.) I thought, since it has been given so many mentions, it is only fitting that I should properly introduce it.  Tonight, I am going to reveal the first ever exclusive interview with the scanner that I use at work.

Me:  Hello Mr. Scanner, is it okay if I call you that?

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Oh wow, I never knew you were a girl.  I am so sorry.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Listen, I said I'm sorry.  How was I supposed to know?  You look like all the other scanners in the office.  

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Woah, you don't need to get so feisty.  I usually can't tell the genders of dogs either, unless I look underneath them.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  No, that isn't one of my hobbies.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  I am not sure that I like the direction this interview is going.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Hey, I said that I was sorry, okay.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Alright, so let's start over.  How long have you been 'employed' at the office?

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  What?  Really?

Scanner:   BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  No, I have no idea if the photocopier is interested in you.  

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  I am not saying you aren't good enough for the photocopier.  I don't even know the photocopier.  Is the photocopier even a guy?

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  I am not saying that it does matter.  I was just wondering.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Yeah, I think this interview may have been a bad idea.

Scanner:  BeeeeeeRrrrrr  Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me:  Yeah, I probably should stop only getting 5 hours of sleep a night.  I'll go remedy that now.