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Christopher Spicer
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I wrote a list of my most viewed posts over a year ago, and so I thought it was about time to look at how much it has changed. Because I'm a geek, and this sort of thing is amusing to me.
1. RIP Macho Man Randy Savage 1952-2011: This is the undisputed king of most viewed post on this blog. It is so ridiculously far ahead of every other blog post that I'm pretty sure it will remain the ruler until either humanity is enslaved by vengeful computer robots or Blogger shuts down my site after 10 years of inactivity. The only way this post will topple is if I write a blog post discovering the real Caramilk secret or talk about my slumber party with Bill Clinton. This post still gets several hundred views a month, which is surprising since Savage passed away over a year ago yet people still want to read about him. Or they're trying to find that song by the Village People.
2. Craig Kielburger: Inspiring Others for Greatness: The rise in views of this post is pretty intriguing. It was already a year old last year, but it has since moved up 3 spots this year. It is pretty rare that such an old piece would still garner enough monthly views that it actually rises up the rankings. Most of my stuff gets its highest hits in the first two or three days, and then even the more popular works not about Macho Man get minimal clicks after. Kielburger seems to be a figure that is popular enough that people seek out information on him, but not popular enough for there to be a lot of content on him (because he doesn't star in American Swamp Mountain Sugar Housewives on Choppers in Jersey Boo Boo Wars). It appears my blog has become the authority on Kielburger, despite the fact I've never talked to him and only ever saw him once in my life.
3. Hey Spam Bots and Marketers, You're Failing at Blog Comments: The high ranking of this blog is a total fluke. It was a complete coincidence that I wrote this blog right around the time of the anniversary of the Spam lunch meat, and that I thought I should accompany a picture of the product's packaging for giggles. The blog post has nothing to do with the world's most infamous canned "almost a meat", and I'm sure that broke the hearts of the thousands who came from Google searches hoping to be regaled with a heartwarming tale about the realization of one person's dream of squeezing some ham-like gelatin into a can. Surprisingly, this post still gets one of the higher hit counts on a monthly basis, but that'll probably stop after the anniversary of the spork or Tang.
4. RIP Jack Layton 1950 - 2011: Sadly, this one is dropping down the rankings, and hasn't gotten any substantial views since the end of last year. It seems like one of Canada's most respected and endearing politicians doesn't have the staying power of a professional wrestler (or a late '70s pop song). I'd have thought the recent talk of the funeral may have spiked the views, but I'm assuming my usual lack of political talk has also stopped my blog from being viewed as an authority by the almighty Google. I would agree with the search engine, except I'm not sure how I became an authority on unearthly pork products either.
5. The Greatest Boxing Day Surprise Ever: AKA The Most Wonderful Excuse for Not Blogging for Several Days: Babies = page views. This is a fact. A fact proven by the crazy amount of hits this blog post had for about two weeks. It may still be the biggest single day views ever on this blog. This is something I can tell Everett to cheer him up when he is older, because in the future, one's value will be determined by how many people read about your birth. Apparently, it is more of an "in-the-moment" kind of thing, because it hasn't been that popular of a post ever since mid-January arrived. Of course, I've also been pretty good at giving everyone about two doses of Everett goodness a week, so it isn't like you need to keep on returning to this post for your fix. Plus he has sort of changed a bit since this was written.
6. My Wonderful and Amazing Life Changing Announcement: See, babies = page views. Or at least, an announcement promising a baby is coming does rather well too. This is another post that ranks crazy high thanks to herds of family and friends cramming on to my site to discover the news. This time around they're happy to discover I'm not announcing the purchase of a Wii.
7. Debunking the Latest Crazy Internet Meme: This was my first blog post that went viral, and ended up getting passed around on a few social media sites. This would also likely be my most successful post in a career sense that I never got paid for writing. My wallet didn't get any thicker and no bills were paid thanks to this post, but my name got spread to some people that did eventually offer cash for other work. I'm proud of this piece, and I am incredibly thankful for all the people that passed it around. Hopefully, it has even caused one or two people to question what the cute little comic/graphic is actually saying rather than deciding to shape their life around its purported facts.
8. 2011's Biggest Box Office Bombs and My Snarky Thoughts on Them: A year ago, the bottom rung of my top viewed rankings were owned by controversial news items and pieces on religion. Now, pop culture has barged its way in and pushed away religion. I'm sure there is something deeply profound about that. Or just a sign that I've written way less about news and religion this year, and spent more time churning out snarky thoughts on major pop culture items. I'm actually surprised this piece is still on here, because I wouldn't think too many people would be Googling about 2011 film in 2012. I remember getting a lot of feedback about it at the start of the year, and so, this was just another example of a piece that likely got passed around to several people.
9. As Promised by My Previous Post: Because deep down my readers are all big meanie heads, and they like to read posts were I lament about my team's lost. I'm glad this post is slipping down the rankings, but I'm also disheartened that such an insignificant piece from almost two years ago is still sticking around. Go away. I don't need to be reminded of my Bear's failure in the playoffs, which then only reminds me that they didn't even make it last season.
10. RIP Crosby: My Lap Will Never Be the Same: Here is something that will likely make my wife laugh at me, I just got teary eyed writing the title for this blog post. This ranked high because my editors are awesome, and they all agreed to put links up on their sites. Thank you so much for that kind gesture. Other than the announcement of my son's birth, this is likely the highest single day viewed blog post. This proved that pets really do matter, and a lot of people could relate to the pain I felt when he passed away. I still miss him, and my lap still feels incredibly bare. I'll always love you, Crosby. For those keeping score, yes, I am crying again.
11. My Letter to Katie Holmes to Let Her Know She is Too Late: This was my second blog post that went "kind-of" viral, and at one point, was circulating like a champ on Google Plus. Of course, it would have actually meant more if it could get attention on Facebook, but it still drew in a larger crowd than usual for me. It was even ranking on Google searches for a short period, which is incredibly impressive considering how many Katie Holmes articles from big sites there must be. But then people suddenly moved on to another divorcing couple, and by August, no one seemed to be searching for letters telling Katie Holmes she really missed her chance for something special. But seriously Katie, Suri can still come over to be chased by my dog. I'll even serve crackers (most likely Mum Mums to Everett).
12. 21 Reasons Why Being Single is More Awesome Than a Relationship: This apparently was a big hit among the single and childless crowd. Not sure what was written in here that would have made the childless herd proud, but I'm glad I could write an anthem for the singles. I'm mostly proud of pulling this off considering I am happily married. This was obviously a complete joke piece (with an ounce of truth), and it seemed most were able to take it the right way. I also didn't really promote this one too heavily, which makes me even happier that it ranks so well and caught the eye of so many non-regular readers.
And just because I don't want the piece to be forgotten, here is my two plus year old piece that is way down in the rankings, but at one time, was at the top, It's Not Okay.
1. RIP Macho Man Randy Savage 1952-2011: This is the undisputed king of most viewed post on this blog. It is so ridiculously far ahead of every other blog post that I'm pretty sure it will remain the ruler until either humanity is enslaved by vengeful computer robots or Blogger shuts down my site after 10 years of inactivity. The only way this post will topple is if I write a blog post discovering the real Caramilk secret or talk about my slumber party with Bill Clinton. This post still gets several hundred views a month, which is surprising since Savage passed away over a year ago yet people still want to read about him. Or they're trying to find that song by the Village People.
2. Craig Kielburger: Inspiring Others for Greatness: The rise in views of this post is pretty intriguing. It was already a year old last year, but it has since moved up 3 spots this year. It is pretty rare that such an old piece would still garner enough monthly views that it actually rises up the rankings. Most of my stuff gets its highest hits in the first two or three days, and then even the more popular works not about Macho Man get minimal clicks after. Kielburger seems to be a figure that is popular enough that people seek out information on him, but not popular enough for there to be a lot of content on him (because he doesn't star in American Swamp Mountain Sugar Housewives on Choppers in Jersey Boo Boo Wars). It appears my blog has become the authority on Kielburger, despite the fact I've never talked to him and only ever saw him once in my life.
3. Hey Spam Bots and Marketers, You're Failing at Blog Comments: The high ranking of this blog is a total fluke. It was a complete coincidence that I wrote this blog right around the time of the anniversary of the Spam lunch meat, and that I thought I should accompany a picture of the product's packaging for giggles. The blog post has nothing to do with the world's most infamous canned "almost a meat", and I'm sure that broke the hearts of the thousands who came from Google searches hoping to be regaled with a heartwarming tale about the realization of one person's dream of squeezing some ham-like gelatin into a can. Surprisingly, this post still gets one of the higher hit counts on a monthly basis, but that'll probably stop after the anniversary of the spork or Tang.
4. RIP Jack Layton 1950 - 2011: Sadly, this one is dropping down the rankings, and hasn't gotten any substantial views since the end of last year. It seems like one of Canada's most respected and endearing politicians doesn't have the staying power of a professional wrestler (or a late '70s pop song). I'd have thought the recent talk of the funeral may have spiked the views, but I'm assuming my usual lack of political talk has also stopped my blog from being viewed as an authority by the almighty Google. I would agree with the search engine, except I'm not sure how I became an authority on unearthly pork products either.
5. The Greatest Boxing Day Surprise Ever: AKA The Most Wonderful Excuse for Not Blogging for Several Days: Babies = page views. This is a fact. A fact proven by the crazy amount of hits this blog post had for about two weeks. It may still be the biggest single day views ever on this blog. This is something I can tell Everett to cheer him up when he is older, because in the future, one's value will be determined by how many people read about your birth. Apparently, it is more of an "in-the-moment" kind of thing, because it hasn't been that popular of a post ever since mid-January arrived. Of course, I've also been pretty good at giving everyone about two doses of Everett goodness a week, so it isn't like you need to keep on returning to this post for your fix. Plus he has sort of changed a bit since this was written.
6. My Wonderful and Amazing Life Changing Announcement: See, babies = page views. Or at least, an announcement promising a baby is coming does rather well too. This is another post that ranks crazy high thanks to herds of family and friends cramming on to my site to discover the news. This time around they're happy to discover I'm not announcing the purchase of a Wii.
7. Debunking the Latest Crazy Internet Meme: This was my first blog post that went viral, and ended up getting passed around on a few social media sites. This would also likely be my most successful post in a career sense that I never got paid for writing. My wallet didn't get any thicker and no bills were paid thanks to this post, but my name got spread to some people that did eventually offer cash for other work. I'm proud of this piece, and I am incredibly thankful for all the people that passed it around. Hopefully, it has even caused one or two people to question what the cute little comic/graphic is actually saying rather than deciding to shape their life around its purported facts.
8. 2011's Biggest Box Office Bombs and My Snarky Thoughts on Them: A year ago, the bottom rung of my top viewed rankings were owned by controversial news items and pieces on religion. Now, pop culture has barged its way in and pushed away religion. I'm sure there is something deeply profound about that. Or just a sign that I've written way less about news and religion this year, and spent more time churning out snarky thoughts on major pop culture items. I'm actually surprised this piece is still on here, because I wouldn't think too many people would be Googling about 2011 film in 2012. I remember getting a lot of feedback about it at the start of the year, and so, this was just another example of a piece that likely got passed around to several people.
9. As Promised by My Previous Post: Because deep down my readers are all big meanie heads, and they like to read posts were I lament about my team's lost. I'm glad this post is slipping down the rankings, but I'm also disheartened that such an insignificant piece from almost two years ago is still sticking around. Go away. I don't need to be reminded of my Bear's failure in the playoffs, which then only reminds me that they didn't even make it last season.
10. RIP Crosby: My Lap Will Never Be the Same: Here is something that will likely make my wife laugh at me, I just got teary eyed writing the title for this blog post. This ranked high because my editors are awesome, and they all agreed to put links up on their sites. Thank you so much for that kind gesture. Other than the announcement of my son's birth, this is likely the highest single day viewed blog post. This proved that pets really do matter, and a lot of people could relate to the pain I felt when he passed away. I still miss him, and my lap still feels incredibly bare. I'll always love you, Crosby. For those keeping score, yes, I am crying again.
11. My Letter to Katie Holmes to Let Her Know She is Too Late: This was my second blog post that went "kind-of" viral, and at one point, was circulating like a champ on Google Plus. Of course, it would have actually meant more if it could get attention on Facebook, but it still drew in a larger crowd than usual for me. It was even ranking on Google searches for a short period, which is incredibly impressive considering how many Katie Holmes articles from big sites there must be. But then people suddenly moved on to another divorcing couple, and by August, no one seemed to be searching for letters telling Katie Holmes she really missed her chance for something special. But seriously Katie, Suri can still come over to be chased by my dog. I'll even serve crackers (most likely Mum Mums to Everett).
12. 21 Reasons Why Being Single is More Awesome Than a Relationship: This apparently was a big hit among the single and childless crowd. Not sure what was written in here that would have made the childless herd proud, but I'm glad I could write an anthem for the singles. I'm mostly proud of pulling this off considering I am happily married. This was obviously a complete joke piece (with an ounce of truth), and it seemed most were able to take it the right way. I also didn't really promote this one too heavily, which makes me even happier that it ranks so well and caught the eye of so many non-regular readers.
And just because I don't want the piece to be forgotten, here is my two plus year old piece that is way down in the rankings, but at one time, was at the top, It's Not Okay.
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I am a writer, so I write. When I am not writing, I will eat candy, drink beer, and destroy small villages.
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