Life Is Fragile

After yesterday's lunacy, I am going to go in a much more serious direction today. Because I've been moved to reflect upon how precious and fragile life(hence my title) can really be.

A few days ago, I visited a very dear loved one in the hospital. This is a person that I have very many fond childhood memories of, and a person who played a pretty key role in me being here today. She is family, but she is so much more than that too. Despite all this hyperbole, she had been in the hospital for almost three weeks before I got around to visiting her. When I did visit her, I was completely shaken up at first. I hardly even recognized this was the person I had known my entire life. She was frail, thin, and weak looking. It was that moment that it hit me that she would eventually be passing away, and maybe even sooner than I had allowed myself to believe. Now, I am not saying this person is dying or will be dying really soon. But I am saying that the mortality of life really resonated with me at that moment. It was a hard moment for me.

Then, I started talking to her. We ended up talking for over an hour. Despite how she may have looked, her conversation made her appear completely full of life. She was in high spirits and filled with such a positive attitude. She really was making the very best of her situation, and honestly, who would ever mistake being in a hospital to be a good situation. Yet she held on to a positive attitude, and even gave some glowing reviews to the hospital food (or at least, she liked the muffins).

This interaction left me with a strong feeling of guilt. This person that I love had been in the hospital for such a long time, yet I never found the time to visit her. When I did visit her, I saw how her face lit up and how much she loved that I made the effort to spend time with her. It was then, that I realized I should have done it earlier, and more often. This is a person that won't live for ever, and I only have so many more opportunities to spend with her. I need to cherish those times, but I also have to make sure those times actually happen.

This experience really taught me how precious and fragile life really is. How important it is to spend time with those that you love, because there is the chance they might not be here when the sun falls. I am not trying to be melodramatic (but I am failing in this attempt, I admit), but I do think the visit really did remind me how essential it is to show love to those who are important to you.

I realize that people naturally drift apart or they move away or life gets busy. You can't see someone every single day. Sometimes, it might even be months or years before you see a person again. I don't think that is necessarily wrong (though in my case it is, because she lives in the same city as me), but I do think it is imperative to remember to try to create that time and make it really special. It may be the last time, or it may be just one of a hundred or thousand more. But life doesn't let you know how much longer someone is going to be around. So, it is crucial to not take the time for granted, and really try to display your love to those who matter to you.

As for me, I already talked with Emily about how we really need to make a return visit. I'll probably try to head back out within a week or so. I know that my visit meant so much to this person. But it also was a treasure for me, because it really opened my eyes to how much I love her.