You Should Shave Because. . .

The neighbourhood kids are sharpening sticks to defeat the Sasquatch.

Small birds are beginning to call your chin home.

It tickles when you kiss me. Also, please stop kissing strangers.

It is a better way to spend your five minutes than pretending you're trapped in an invisible box.

You're not Samson.

Do I even know you?

Carpenters are starting to use your face for sandpaper.

'It's Alive! It's Alive' grows old real fast.

You must be getting annoyed having quarters thrown into your coffee.

It is sort of tiring being known as the person who lives with 'the creepy, hairy guy.'

It just winked at me.

It is sort of tiring being known as the person who lives with 'the creepy, hairy girl.'

I can't tell which one is the dog.

Even a small thing can make this world a better place. And that thing ain't small.

Tommy is wondering where you were last Christmas. Plus you should cut out the 5 Twinkies a day diet.

The circus isn't hiring and you're also not a lady.

Old Man Wilkins told me he's stocking up on silver bullets for the next full moon.

'It manages itself' does not apply here