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Posted by
Christopher Spicer
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We were about 45 feet away from the door at the centre that we go for Summit's training, when out of absolutely nowhere four carnivorous, rabid, vegetarian Llamas jump in front of us. This was awful for two reasons: we were already running a little late (as is our style), and I had a carrot peel stuck to right thumb which only sent the carnivorous vegetarians into an even more violent fury. I truly thought this was leading to the final chapter of the Spicer family saga and poor Summit didn't even get to see his first birthday.
It was at this moment that an once and a lifetime radioactive meteorite landed into the nearby field. This happened to be a field that has produced numerous vegetables over its time, and as we all know, radioactivity causes things to turn into zombies (this is scientific fact, read a comic book). Suddenly, zombified carrots and green peppers stumbled out and towards the dog training centre.
This occurrence caught the attentions of the llamas, because being both carnivorous and vegetarian means they have a lust for fleshy veggies. The fact these were zombified vegetables caused this to be a monumental moment in rabid llama history. They quickly forgot that Spicers were on the menu and preyed upon the slowly, stumbling zombie veggies. Of course, the llamas had something that all zombies crave which is delicious brains. It was the war of the rabid, carnivorous, vegetarian llamas and the brain lusting, zombified vegetables.
I would love to tell you who won but we had training to get to. Even an epic battle such as this, will not get in the way of our need to teach Summit to play dead or run through a plastic tunnel.
It was at this moment that an once and a lifetime radioactive meteorite landed into the nearby field. This happened to be a field that has produced numerous vegetables over its time, and as we all know, radioactivity causes things to turn into zombies (this is scientific fact, read a comic book). Suddenly, zombified carrots and green peppers stumbled out and towards the dog training centre.
This occurrence caught the attentions of the llamas, because being both carnivorous and vegetarian means they have a lust for fleshy veggies. The fact these were zombified vegetables caused this to be a monumental moment in rabid llama history. They quickly forgot that Spicers were on the menu and preyed upon the slowly, stumbling zombie veggies. Of course, the llamas had something that all zombies crave which is delicious brains. It was the war of the rabid, carnivorous, vegetarian llamas and the brain lusting, zombified vegetables.
I would love to tell you who won but we had training to get to. Even an epic battle such as this, will not get in the way of our need to teach Summit to play dead or run through a plastic tunnel.
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I am a writer, so I write. When I am not writing, I will eat candy, drink beer, and destroy small villages.
Comments
Ya.. sorry about that. They asked if they could play in the front yard because it was so nice out. That will be the last time a fall for a plan that hatches from their sscheming llama mminds.
ReplyDeleteAs always, I am just thankful for the zombies. They really are the answer to life's greatest obstacles.
ReplyDeleteTiffany Million via Facebook:
ReplyDeleteLMAO...no words to describe...I got half way through the second paragraph thinking this actually happened...oh dear.
Because you have a lot of rabid, carnivorous, vegetarian llamas in your area?
ReplyDelete